Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Have We Ruined Our Kids Prom?

I'm probably about to make A LOT of people upset with me.....but I'd like to ask a question. Have we (as parents) taken the Prom away from our kids?

Seriously. After a discussion with some friends last night, I feel that I may not be alone. It makes me sad when I hear about our local prom in Lincoln County. It seems as though, after weeks and hundreds of dollars spent on dresses, tuxes, rental cars, nails, hair, corsages, etc. our high schoolers go to "prom", walk a grand march, then most change clothes and leave. WHY?! This is supposed to be one of the most memorable nights of their high school career. A night to have fun with classmates.

I think it's our fault...the parents. I'm not pointing fingers, because I'm as guilty as anyone. We all think we have to BE THERE to see the parade of dressed up kids. We have to BE THERE to take more and more pictures. (Now we need one with your stand with your with your neighbor from our first house....poor kids!) Maybe we should back off.

This has also added to the planning for our school's administration. Not only are they having to plan for our children, but make accomodations (parking, seating) and rules for all the parents, family, visitors that are going to watch.

Here comes the part where I sound like an old geezer.....but when I went to my high school prom twenty cough-cough years ago, my date picked me up, mom took the awkward photos of the corsage placing, getting in the car and THAT WAS IT! Mommy and Daddy didn't then go to the prom WITH ME! We went to the event with our friends. There was a dinner served (which we missed because my date drove crazy and we had a wreck....but that's another story), then the "Grand March" if you will. I do believe there were maybe a half-dozen parents there videoing. And, if those were your parents, I'll tell you we made fun of you. (sorry!) But, seriously, WHO'S PARENTS WENT TO THE PROM WITH THEM?! We danced and talked and had fun the whole evening....get this....AT THE PROM! There wasn't the prom party where everyone left the PROM in order to attend. Read those words again - does that sound crazy to you, too?

I would love to know if this is just how it is now everywhere, or if we have just messed up our local kids prom.

Please don't hate me! I would love other opinions on this. Maybe you can even enlighten me! Are our kids happy with the way it is now?


  1. I am so glad to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I have said for years (to be looked upon as a spoil sport) that too much emphasis is put into the "looks" and not enough put into the event. But even after endless tries from others to make me feel alone in this, I still stand by my beliefs as to what a prom should be; and that's fun. My daughter attended her Senior Prom this year, we did her hair at home (I'm a licensed stylist), I made pictures at home of the corsage placement, him helping her in the car and others around our yard. Just like you described. We did go for the grand march and I did make pictures of her with other folks that wasn't able to be at my house such as grandparents and best friends. We did not however, go somewhere and make "professional" pictures as if they were wedding. I'm sure her dress was one of the least expensive there but was also one of the prettiest. Her date drove her there in his pickup (no limo, we're saving that for her wedding too) they did leave and go eat which I didn't understand since they had food there. Us parents may not be ruining the prom for the kids since it's the goal for these kids to copy what has been done the year before but the prom and it's original intent has been ruined for years. Beginning when other grades started having their own proms i.e. 8th grade night, 9th grade night, Winter Formal etc. Us parents are the ones that allow this stuff, organize some of it and have NO limits for the kids who attend. So to answer your question are we ruining the prom for our're ruining our kids. Now I'll just go get in the corner and wait for you Jen.

  2. sJennifer
    In my opinion Prom isn't a big deal because our kids today cElebrate Prom in 8th and 9th grade. It isn't something they look forward to because they have already experienced a formal in one way or another at least twice some more than that. Just my thoughts though...